hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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