Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Panties = found
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
