Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
