Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
