Need sex. Gaining weight.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
