She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
