Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
