i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
