Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.

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(719): View more from Colorado

he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka

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(973): View more from New Jersey

So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it

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(757): View more from Virginia

i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis

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(217): View more from Illinois

This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.

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(850): View more from Florida

A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.

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(518): View more from New York

You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here

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