You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
