her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
