I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
smell my finger.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
