is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
