Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
