You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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