loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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