ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
