Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
babies were throwing up all over the place
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize