He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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