Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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