Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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