They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
