I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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