I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
whose ass print is on the piano?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
