i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
