you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
