i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
