saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize