is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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