Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
