The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Let's paint friendship bongs
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
