just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
