I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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