Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
