And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
