Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
