i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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