have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
