I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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