Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
