I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
