Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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