Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
