That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
