i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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