you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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