Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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