So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
