So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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