that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
ugly people sure do ruin things
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
