Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
