She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
