that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
