Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
