Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
