Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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