so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
