Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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