if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
