The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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