party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
