I need to stop coming to work sober
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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