Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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