margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I didn't notice because vodka
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
