I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
