I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
