Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
