That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
