I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
